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Ladies and gentlemen, here's my diseaseGive me a standing ovation and your sympathyPoor old johnny yen set himself on fire againSee the jeaned genie on his high-wire actAt the back of his mind lies a suicide pactPoor old johnny yen set himself on fire againSee the young men itching to burnWaiting for their own star turnNeeding danger, a war would doIf they can't let it out, they'll pick on youPoor old johnny yen set himself on fire againSee houdini and his underwater tricksYou were sitting at the front, hoping his locks would stickWatch knievel hit the 17th busYou got crushed in the souvenir rushPoor old johnny yen set himself on fire againI said poor old johnny yen set himself on fire againSee the young men itching to burnWaiting for their own star turnNeeding danger, a war would doIf they can't let it out, they'll pick on youPoor old johnny yen set himself on fire againLadies and gentlemen, here's my diseaseGive me a standing ovation and your sympathyCome on, somebody, finish him off pleasePut the poor fool out of his misery, will youCan't you see he's had enough? Finish him off, somebodyNext!