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I read the news today oh, boyAbout a lucky man who made the gradeAnd though the news was rather sadWell I just had to laugh andI saw the photographHe blew his mind out in a carHe didn't notice that the lights had changedA crowd of people stood and staredThey'd seen his face before,Nobody was really sure if he was from the house of lords.I saw a film today oh, boyThe english army had just won the warA crowd of people turned awayBut I just had a lookHaving read the book,I'd love to turn you on...Woke up, fell out of bed,Dragged a comb across my headFound my way downstairs and drank a cup,And looking up I noticed I was late.Found my coat and grabbed my hatMade the bus in seconds flatFound my way upstairs and had a smoke,Somebody spoke and I went into a dreamAhI read the news today oh boyFour thousand holes in blackburn, lancashireAnd though the holes were rather smallThey had to count them all,Now they know how many holes it takes to fill the albert hall.I'd love to turn you on...