Stephen Sondheim - A Little Priest Lyrics

MS. LOVETT:
Seems a downright shameÖ

TODD (spoken):
Shame?

MS. LOVETT:
Seems an awful wasteÖ
Such a nice plump frame
Wots his name has
HadÖhasÖ
Nor he canít be traced
Business needs a lift
Debts to be erased
Think of it as thrift, as a gift
If you get my drift
Seems and awful waste

I mean...with the price of meat wot it is
When you get it, if you get it

TODD:
AhÖ

MS. LOVETT:
Good you got it
Take for instance Ms. Mooney and her pie shop
Business never better using only pussy cats and toast
Now a pussyís good for maybe six or seven at the most
And Iím sure they canít compare as far as taste

(simultaneously)

TODD:
Ms. Lovett, what a charming notion
Eminently practical

MS. LOVETT:
Well it does seem a waste!

TODD:
And yet appropriate as always
Ms. Lovett, how Iíve lived without you all these years
Iíll never know!
How delectable!
Also undetectable!

MS. LOVETT:
Think about it
Lots of other gentlemeníll soon be coming in for a shave
Wonít they?
Think of
All them
Pies!

TODD:
How choice!
How rare!

For whatís the sound of the world out there?

MS. LOVETT:
What Mr. Todd, what Mr. Todd
What is that sound?

TODD:
Those crunching noises pervading the air!

MS. LOVETT:
Yes, Mr. Todd, Yes Mr. Todd
Yes all around

TODD:
Itís man devouring man, my dear!

BOTH:
Then who are we to deny it in here?

TODD (spoken):
These are desperate times, Ms. Lovett
And desperate measures are called for

MS. LOVETT:
Here we are. Hot out of the oven

TODD:
What is that?

MS. LOVETT:
Its priest
Have a little priest

TODD:
Is it really good?

MS. LOVETT:
Sir, itís too good, at least
Then again they donít commit sins of the flesh
So itís pretty fresh

TODD:
Awful lot of fat

MS. LOVETT:
Only where it sat

TODD:
Havenít you got poet or something like that?

MS. LOVETT:
No you see the trouble with poet
Is how do you know itís deceased?
Try the priest!

Lawyerís rather nice

TODD:
If itís for a price

MS. LOVETT:
Order something else, though, to follow
Since no one should swallow it twice

TODD:
Anything thatís lean?

MS. LOVETT:
Well then if youíre British and loyal
You might enjoy royal marine
Anyway itís clean
Though of course it tastes of wherever itís been!

TODD:
Is that squire on the fire?

MS. LOVETT:
Mercy no, sir, look closer
Youíll notice its grocer!

TODD:
Looks thicker, more like vicar

MS. LOVETT:
No, it has to be grocer
Itís green!

TODD:
The history of the world, my love

MS. LOVETT:
Save a lot of graves
Do a lot of relatives favors

TODD:
Is those below serving those up above!

MS. LOVETT:
Everybody shaves so there should be plenty of flavors

TODD:
How gratifying for once to know

BOTH:
That those above will serve those down below

TODD (spoken):
What is that?

MS. LOVETT:
Itís fop
Finest in the shop
Or we have some shepherds pie peppered
With actual shepherd on top!
And Iíve just begun
Is the politician so oily itís served with a doily?
Have one!

TODD:
Put it on a bun
Well you never know if itís going to run!

MS. LOVETT:
Try the friar!
Fried, itís drier!

TODD:
No!
The clergy is really too coarse and too mealy!

MS. LOVETT:
Then actor!
Itís compacter!

TODD:
Ah, but always arrives overdone
(spoken) Iíll come again when you have judge on the menu

Have charity towards the world, my pet!

MS. LOVETT:
Yes, yes, I know, my love

TODD:
Weíll take the customers that we can get!

MS. LOVETT:
High-born and low, my love!

TODD:
Weíll not discriminate great from small
No, weíll serve anyone

(simultaneously)

MS. LOVETT:
Weíll serve anyone!

TODD:
Meaning anyone!

BOTH:
And to anyone
At all!
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