Send "If " Ringtone to your Cell 
If you were a nose I would not pick you
If you were a stamp I would not lick you
If you were a letter I would send you far away
And then I'd never have to see your ugly face
If you were a dog I'd probably kick you
If you were a booger I would flick you
If you were a car I would crash you into a tree
And then maybe you'd stay away from me
Oh you're the most unattractive person I have ever met
Your breath smells like you drink from the toilet
I'd like to strap you to a rocket ship and send you to the sun
And watch you burn--that would be fun.
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If you were a pop I would not drink you
If you were a thought I would not think you
If you were a kidney stone you probably wouldn't pass
You're nothing but a pain in the... neck.
If you were a song I would not sing you
If you were a bell I would not ring you
If you were a drum I would take a stick and beat you on your face
Rat tat tat a tat tat
Oh you're the most unattractive person I have ever seen
Your head is fat, on top of that you're mean
Why don't you go and dig a hole and bury yourself alive
...That would make me happy.
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