Woe Is Me lyrics

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LOGAINNE (spoken)

I’d just like to take one moment to thank my two fathers,

who have been so supportive of me in all of my endeavors.

Thank you dads!



CARL

We hate losers



DAN (spoken)

No one likes a loser!



CARL

Which is why

(spoken) we discipline that

God hates losers!



DAN (spoken)

But he loves you!



CARL

Because losers do not know how to win



DAN (spoken)

And we have faith in you, honey.



CARL (spoken)

Yes we do!



DAN (spoken)

Yes we do!



CARL (spoken)

Go get ‘em!



LOGAINNE

I hope you can love me, America

(spoken) I’m gunning for first prize!

(sung) Here’s why you should love me, America

My needs I cannot overemphasize

I make myself crazy

Being what my dads hope I’ll be

But what about me dads?

What about me?

(spoken) Jesus Christ!

(sung) What about me?



CARL (spoken)

Practice your breathing, Logainne.



LOGAINNE

Though I practice yoga

I don’t breathe

I try not to disappoint

But still I

Disappoint the dads

Who my friends mock

Kids are mean

Kids’ll talk

All my so-called friends roll their eyes

They’re incredibly petty

Because my dads are my dads

And alright enough already



ALL

Woe is me

Woe is me



LOGAINNE

Which is why I gotta win
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This spelling bee



CARL (spoken)

Take a picture for her BM.



LOGAINNE (spoken)

Dad!



DAN (spoken)

Don’t call her BM, Carl.



CARL (spoken)

Sorry, her birth mother



LOGAINNE (spoken)

Peggy Jenkins!



DAN (spoken)

Who’d be very proud if she could see you spell!



LOGAINNE

My birth mother lives in Kansas, MO

In a trailer

In a park



ALL

Tornados



LOGAINNE

Every now and then

She sends a card

Life and men, she writes

Are hard

She would like to meet me

When I’ve grown and I’ve burst like a comet

But I’m so stressed

By my stress

I just wanna up and vomit

ALL

Woe is me

Woe is me



LOGAINNE

Which is why I gotta win

This spelling



ALL (W/O LOGAINNE)

Be smart

Be cool

Be an adult

Be remarkably adroit in social situations



LOGAINNE

Woe is Me

Woe is Me



ALL (overlapping Logainne)

Be smart, be cool

Be smart, be cool

Be smart, be cool

Be smart, be



LOGAINNE, DADS

Which is why I gotta win

This spelling bee



ALL (overlapping Logainne)

Which is why she’s gotta win

This spelling bee








Thanks to Seth for correcting these lyrics