I woke up this morning with a bad hangover

And my penis was missing again

This happens all the time, it's detachable

This comes in handy a lot of the time



I can leave it home when I think it's gonna get me in trouble

Or I can rent it out when I don't need it

But now and then I go to a party, get drunk

And the next morning, I can't, for the life of me

Remember what I did with it



First I looked around my apartment and I couldn't find it

So I called up the place where the party was

They hadn't seen it either

I asked them to check the medicine cabinet

'Cause for some reason, I leave it there sometimes

But no this time



So I told them if it pops up to let me know

I called a few people who were at the party

But they were no help either.

I was starting to get desperate



I really don't like being without my penis for too long
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It makes me feel like less of a man

And I really hate having to sit down

Every time I take a leak



After a few hours of searching the house

And calling everyone I could think of

I was starting to get very depressed

So I went to the Kiev and ate breakfast



Then as I walked down Second Avenue, toward St Mark's Place

Where all those people sell used books

And other junk on the street, I saw my penis

Lying on a blanket next to a broken toaster oven

Some guy was selling it



I had to but it off him, he wanted 22 bucks

But I talked him down to 17

I took it home, washed it off and put it back on

I was happy again, complete



People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached

But I don't know, even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass

I like having a detachable penis

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