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A fine romance, with no kissesA fine romance, my friend this isWe should be like a couple of hot tomatoesBut you're as cold as yesterday's mashed potatoesA fine romance, you won't nestleA fine romance, you won't wrestleI might as well play bridgeWith my old maid auntI haven't got a chanceThis is a fine romanceA fine romance, my good fellowYou take romance, I'll take jelloYou're calmer than the sealsIn the arctic oceanAt least they flap their finsTo express emotionA fine romance with no quarrelsWith no insults and all moralsI've never mussed the creaseIn your blue serge pantsI never get the chanceThis is a fine romance
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