Send "Goblin Cock " Ringtones to your Cell 
| Prefixmag |
 Goblin Cock is like a GWAR that retains its sense of humor and can actually write good songs. Come With Me if You Want to Live features a slew of tunes with joke titles, but they nevertheless rock and hard and sludgy and stand up to much more serious fare in the same genre. And who can go wrong with the mighty guitar work of Bane Ass-Pounder? Or the sturdy vocals of Goblin Cock himself, with the occasional help from Loki Sinjuggler on keys?Actually, this is all in good fun and delevered through the vision of Pinback’s Rob Crow, who at first seemed to intend this project to be a one-off goof. No more. This second Cock record is serious stoner metal, at least musically. The gooey muck of tunes like “Hissless,” “Trying to Get Along With Humans,” “Beneath the Valley of the Island of Misfit Toys” and, my favorite, “We’ve Got a Bleeder” ring true in their chosen genre. They display a loose, gritty feel that ought to please metal fans as well as those who still think this is Crow’s version of Spinal Tap....full text |
| Allmusic |
| You would be hard-pressed to find a band with a more eyebrow-raising name than Goblin Cock, and since the project is a Rob Crow side project rather than a real band per se, one would suspect from the D&D album art and credited pseudonyms (Lord Phallus, Bane Ass-Pounder, King Sith Braindeath, and Loki Sinjuggler) that it's merely a spoof on death metal. Well, that's half true. The band is satirical in concept, but the execution of the music is authentic, unadulterated "rawk" of the truest kind. No joking about it. Get past the druid robes and conceptual silliness, and you're left with a powerfully crushing update of Blue Cheer and Sabbath doomsday grunge that rivals Queens of the Stone Age and Torche in its aptitude and sheer amplitude. It's almost a shame that they've gone the lowbrow dick humor route for marketing Come with Me if You Want to Live, when the music is this good. Thunderous riffs join with crunchy fuzz bass to make the songs "Haint" and "We Got a Bleeder" every bit as catchy and heavy as the last album's single, "Stumped." As a whole, this album is a step up from Bagged and Boarded -- it's more consistent and melodic -- but essentially the same weaponry is intact. Crow's airy vocal harmonies are mixed with stoner rock power drums, dropped tunings, and minor-key riffs that are slow-driven and heavy but manage to retain a tuneful, hook-driven warmness. Those familiar with the Goblin King's past undertakings will find some sound similarities to his former projects -- especially Thingy and their appreciation of off-kilter chord choices and changes -- and indie rock sensibilities (and some punk and prog touches) often mix onto the palette, to make this more of a fusion-metal experience than a formulaic nod to classic metal. Purists may be disappointed by the lack of gallops, double kicks, and blistering duel-guitar harmonies that virtuosos like Dragonforce revel in, but fans of hard-driven sludge with melody will find a lot to like. It's a fantastic album, and one of the standout metal records of the year; it's just too bad that it's kind of embarrassing to admit that you're a fan....full text |
| Popmasters |
| Contrary to what your memory may tell you, Goblin Cock is not the band the kid in The Gate was listening to when he inadvertently opened a porthole to the netherworld in his backyard—that was actually Sacrifyx. I can’t tell you what Sacrifyx records currently fetch on eBay because I’m 99% sure Sacrifyx never existed in our non-cinematic realm. Goblin Cock, on the other hand, is startlingly real, one of the many side projects helmed by Pinback frontman Rob Crow. Naturally, Rob does not use his birth name while piloting the mighty metal ship that is Goblin Cock. Instead, he takes on the mantle of Lord Phallus. Although the evidence suggests otherwise, Rob is not an eleven-year-old boy. He is in actuality almost forty. Come With Me If You Want To Live continues the legacy of muted, foggy metal GC began on their 2005 debut Bagged and Boarded. There’s no question these dull riffs and sludgy rhythms are being played by an indie rocker who has an album entitled Nautical Antiques to his credit. Songs like “Loch” and “We Got a Bleeder” are Sabbath by way of Deerhunter—you can almost feel the impossibly tight pastel shirt choking the guitarist’s frail torso. The only time GobCock comes anywhere near the pure, hard-charging type of stuff guys in dirty denim jackets with behavior problems generally go for is on the final track, the excellently named “Trying To Get Along With Humans”, and even the serious guitar chugging on THAT number is framed by obtuse and indie-ish song arrangement. Need lyrical proof Goblin Cock is more indie metal than metal metal? Look no further than the chorus of “Haint”, which includes the stomach-churning phrase “ghost boys don’t need no hassles”. That sounds like something Conor Oberst muttered in his sleep last Christmas Eve after a six hour Elliott Smith listening party. Actually, I think “Ghost Boys Don’t Need No Hassles” is the name of a Death Cab b-side originally written for the infamous Donnie Darko-based Broadway musical Hey, There’s A Damn Fuselage On Top Of My Brother! It had a pretty short run. I hear it closed as the curtain was going up on the first act. Fun fact: Bea Arthur played the giant rabbit character, who was renamed Hortense the Fluffy-Tailed Dream Master (at least that’s what Jake Gyllenhaal’s orthodontist told me). Pardon that tangent. ...full text |
Goblin Cock lyrics
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