Blood on the Dance Floor - Evolution Review

Releasing their fifth album in just fifty months, it appears as if Blood on the Dance Floor will not be going away any time soon. The Orlando outfit who get their fans “wetter than Hurricane Katrina” (their words, not mine) are clearly looking to cash in on their schlocky electro-pop while they can. Sure, there has been some gradual growth since their horrid initial output, but improving on Shakespearian lyrics such as “I’ll throw a dildo in your grave, party up and start a rave” and “My cum’s so chunky, it’s like an Oreo McFlurry” really isn’t all that difficult. Following the lead of predecessor ‘All The Rage!’, ‘Evolution’ sees the duo attempting to improve their electronica-heavy production, while continuing to tone down the explicit lyrics. In fact, the consistent theme evident here suggests that each of their fans need their lives saved... And who better to do that than these two gentlemen!?

Before saving lives, however, Blood on the Dance Floor must first raise their credibility by masking their numerous deficiencies as best as possible... And the method of choice on 'Evolution' is distraction. Opener 'Rise & Shine' may do so most successfully, melding every trick in the electronica handbook to form some kind of digestible mess. Layers upon layers of synth, Skrillex's definition of dubstep and distractingly loud four-to-the-floor beats are mixed to the fore, while some background screaming and even a Martin Luther King soundbyte almost allow the poor song-writing and horrendous singing to be ignored. Elsewhere, unconvincing vocals from unknown females - and Good Charlotte's Joel Madden - do not add a great deal of variety, while four spoken-word interludes championing love and optimism contribute nothing but extra cheese.

While Jayy Von Monroe's vocals are occasionally tolerable, Dahvie Vanity's are in desperate need of auto-tune - especially throughout verses where he approaches rapping and spoken-word. Seriously, you just have to listen to his delivery of "Every 14.2 minutes, someone in the United States dies by suicide" at the beginning of 'You Are the Heart' to understand how awful Vanity's voice is. And while Blood on the Dance Floor's intentions may indeed be admirable, one only has to glimpse at the album cover to wonder if the source of this message is the correct one. If that does not do it, then choice lyrics such as "***in' genie without a bottle, I'll grant your wishes if you swallow" ('Fantasyland') and "You always said you would die to be famous, but you never thought it would be because of your anus" ('Revenge Porn') will undoubtedly do so....full text Depending on your tolerance for dance music and the overall development of your cognitive abilities, rave-pop duo Blood On The Dance Floor are either the most subversive act operating today, the audio version of ipecac or masters of extracting young girls with muffin tops from their money to achieve a great pop ’n’ roll swindle of their very own design. The truth lies somewhere in the shared section of the Venn Diagram described above, because at any given moment, Evolution delivers extra-effervescent pop (with cameos from Deuce and Joel Madden among many others), cloying common-denominator trash and (wait for it) a social consciousness. At it’s best, you’ll walk away humming a track or two; at it’s worst, you’ll feel trapped in an episode of Planet Starlight: Chasers Excellent.

While some of BOTDF’s career-building shock value is still in play (“Fantasyland,” “Revenge Porn”), the bulk of Evolution is centered on being one big self-help message dressed up in big beats, synthesizer sequences, samples and spoken-word asides addressing everything from love-yourself enabling to ecological respect. “You Are The <3” opens with Dahvie Vanity relaying statistics on suicide numbers while offering a padded shoulder to cry on. “The Right To Love!” is an equality lesson reminding you “the only person you need to prove your love is the person that feels the same about you.” The packaging of the disc sports posi-propaganda with a quote from John Lennon, leading one to believe that Vanity and Jayy Von Monroe have turned a corner regarding the show-me-yours-and-I’ll-show-you-mine crassness that got them started. At the end of the day, though, BOTDF fans don’t have to worry about the party being over prematurely; it’s just the boys have made the psychic first-aid tent a little bigger than usual to protect their brood....full text